Final due date: submit a folder with your outline, rough draft (marked by me), another revision with changes tracked, and then your final--and  perfect-- paper with readability score. Points off for each missing piece!  Use Turnitin.com. Period 2: 6370326; period 10: 6370194; password for both is student
    Revise, revise, revise: editing is not revising! Editing is proofreading, deleting, spell/grammar/style checking.
    Revising is reorganizing, rewriting, adding info., changing sentence structure to empahasize ideas and tone, choosing better nouns and verbs...revising is what a good writer does REPEATEDLY.
    Take a few minutes to examine one aspect of your writing. (Many are listed below.) Change it. A day later, look at another aspect. Repeat!
     Getting Started with Sentence Writing Skills –
    combining, rearranging, subtracting, and expanding

    Instead of writing:

    There is a boy.
    The boy is small.
    There is a pond.
    The boy fell.

    A better writer might say:

    The small boy fell into the pond.


    There is a small boy who fell into the pond.


    writer combined four sentences into one.


    Writer rearranged words, putting small before pond.


    Writer subtracted unnecessary words.


    Writer expanded, adding into or who.


    Writer's Vocabulary Checklist Questions for Revision


    1. Do I repeat the same dull openings, e.g., I, The, And then, etc.?

    2. Which sentences can I combine to make them more interesting for my audience?


    1. Which sentences can I rearrange to avoid repeating the same dull sentence beginnings? I should be able to rewrite every sentence several different ways! Which is the best for my purpose?

    2. Am I emphasizing key ideas by placing them in a position of importance--beginning or end of a sentence? If not, how can I rearrange the sentence?


    1. Where did I pad my sentences by adding empty or dead words to fill up space?

    2. Did I get off the topic? Where should I subtract unnecessary words or ideas?


    1. Where do I need to expand with journalistic questions--Who? What? When? Where? How? Why?--to support my main ideas?

    2. Did I skip information my audience needs to know? Where should I expand?

    Also, our most lauded teacher labor saving device, the SOS sheet, helps students apply the skills of combining and rearranging in revising a composition.

    Sentence Opening Sheet

    First Four Words Per Sentence



    No. of Words













    And then, there is always: RADAR: rearrange, add, delete, accent, r
    Suggestions based upon YOUR rough drafts:
    • Evaluate your support and sources : Frederick Douglass was a proud man (Curran 7). How is this proof of anything? Give the details that convince your reader. And ask yourself, is Curran a reliable expert?
    • Add clever quotations --preferably from authoritative sources, but even some clever ones from the time period can add interest and flavor to oyur writing.
    • To avoid awkward pronouns (one, s/he..) choose nouns! Everyone should hand in his/her homework. vs. Students should hand in their homework.
    • Who is the THEY in "they say?" Never say it!!
    • Add appositives: a definition/explanation/ xample placed immediately after the noun you are exemplifying.                               Do not say, Frederick Douglass was a slave. He escaped captivity. Rather: Frederick Douglass, once a slave, escaped captivity.)
    • Add colons: they may be used instead of such simplistic phrasing : such as, for example.
    • Choose great nouns and verbs, cut adjectives and adverbs
    • Choose a "pallette of nouns:" concrete nouns for concrete ideas, proper nouns for imagery, and abstract nouns for complex abstract ideas
    • Use grammatical constructions that emphasize (not only..., but also...) Look at you RD book!
    • Combine sentences by beginning with a SS, VERBING  that.... (The Supreme Court has determined that the penalty is no longer valid, meaning that... or  Men had to patrol the shops, monitoring who came late or left early.
    • Double check capitalization of President, Congress, etc. Microsoft might miss the rule!
    • Leave the reader with an insightful conclusion. What do you now understand or consider after doing this research? Do not sum up in your conclusion! The only reason to refer to earlier parts of your essay is to emphasize. The reader (ahem: your brilliant teachers) do not need to reread what they just read; they remember!
    • Clever titles add meaning and tone
    • If you have an issue with organization, is it really an organ. issue, or are your transitions weak?
    Draft 1:
    If you have written a thorough outline for your paper, the first draft should write itself. Try to get your ideas on paper, concentrating on the subject matter and paragraphing (organizing subtopics into a logical pattern easily followed by the reader; see "Methods of Organization").
    Draft 2:
    Return to your first draft. Check if any information needs to be added. Do you have 2-3 examples, quotations, facts in each body paragraph? Is each quotation carefully "framed" with an introduction to connect it to your subtopic, the actual info, and then an explanation emphasizing its importance?
    Use parenthetical citation after each fact or quotation to show where you learned about it. If the information is commonly known by everyone, citation is not necessary. When in doubt, cite rather than be accused of plagiarism. Every source on your Works Cited page must be cited parenthetically within your body paragraphs! Use Turnitin.com to check!
    Draft 3:
    Examine your topic sentences in each body paragraph. Do they repeat key words and employ transitions to guide the reader smoothly through your thoughts--from thesis to conclusion?
    Draft 4:
    Do your body paragraphs clearly show:  this is true because of that ?
    Draft 5:
    Work on your language skills.
    • Do your sentences reflect the importance of the point your making? Put the main point in the grammatically important part of the sentence.
    • Do you combine sentences together to reflect insightful connections between ideas, or are they mostly simple sentences? 
    • Do you use college level, formal and academic writing (syntax and diction)? Do your corrections and revisions to get 12+ on your readability scores?
    • Have you chosen persuasive syntax and diction? Can you make your point more emphatic?
    • Add your own ideas/conclusions at the close of your body paragraphs.
    • Work on your personal tone and insight in your intro. and concl. paragraphs. Leave your reader with a great idea to ponder or an "aha! moment."
    Draft 6:
    Get a second opinion.
    Draft 7:
    Do your final editing and proofreading. A project such as the History/English research paper, done over weeks using a computer, Internet, teachers, etc. should not have any errors. Check your formatting carefully!